Travis was the love of my 7th and 8th grade life. I was too shy and awkward to talk...but he knew I adored him and he milked it for all it was worth. When I broke my shoulder doing hurdles in track I had to wear an awful, awful brace and he called me Velcro Woman. I was embarrassed but couldn't help loving the attention.
In 9th grade someone else came along and I forgot about Travis. We probably said less than 10 sentences to each other throughout the rest of H.S. After our first year of college we both transferred to CSS. We ran into each other on campus a few times and did the head nod and "Hey, how's it going." (<--Said with a period because nobody actually expects/gives a response.) I left my alcoholic/cheating husband at the end of May. I had a really fast relationship with Justin (you'll find out about him later, I promise) that was a disaster. After a few flirtatious FB chats Travis and I agreed that he would buy me dinner next time I was up in his area. I was elated. When getting ready for the date I was so excited I could scarcely apply my fucking eyeshadow because my hand was shaking so badly. Had I gained weight since HS? Was I really going to be able to show him I'm less shy? Why did I have to have an Italian grandmother (bless her) who passed on the female 'stache? Was my ex-husband serious when he said he could feel it when he kissed me? Should I bleach it? Do we HAVE any bleach?! Why hadn't I just waxed it? How was I going on a date with Travis who is clearly so much cooler than I?
The date was super, duper fun. I had planned on staying at my friend Rachel's house, only that flopped and Travis invited me to stay over. I couldn't find my toothbrush. Travis said he had an extra somewhere and was unable to locate it. He gave me his to use and I accepted. As I stood there at the sink with Travis' toothbrush in my mouth...I could not stop smiling. It felt like my cheeks were going to split. What would my 13 year-old self say if she knew I was standing here using his toothbrush?
We went to bed and he kissed me. Lots. It was wonderful. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! After boring make out sessions with Justin involving no tongue and kisses like he gives his son...wow! Travis stuck his tongue in my mouth and I was like, "Pa-raise the Lord!" I couldn't stop smiling. Travis kept touching my cheeks and telling me how cute my dimples were. It was amazing.
We had one other date that was about the same. Lots of 4 am phone conversations and flirtations. Then he invited me to Halloween at his house. What's that? You want to know what my FABULOUS self decided to dress up as? VELCRO WOMAN. Boo-ya! I fuckin' sewed that cape, shirt, headband, wristbands and mask. And found a brace. That's right. A-ma-zing. And how adorable, right? Our little inside joke... I am going to be the best girlfriend ever to whoever this guy is gonna end up being. I know it. I mean...I brought Travis lunch at work once, I sent him a coupon in the mail for a free back massage when I knew he was having a rough week. I love doing that kind of stuff.
So, anyway, Sunday was a big day for me. It was the day I got dumped for the first time. Divorced, 25 years old...and I just got dumped. Although, I don't know that it technically qualifies as being dumped because I'm not sure Travis and I were technically "together" enough for that. At any rate, he fed me some lines which may or may not be true: "I'm too messed up for a relationship right now," and "I'm not happy with myself," etc, etc. I mean, I know that it's true...but I don't know that he knows that it's true, you know what I mean?
So, that was Sunday. Tuesday night I went to bed at 12 or 12:30ish. At 1:30 am Travis texted me and it sounded like he needed to talk, like he was going to have some sort of emotional outpour. Right. That's exactly what happened. Read on and be HORRIFIED (T for Trav, A for Ang):
T
just know ur a cute gal and u can make guys stop in their tracks
A
haha. :):)
thank you
likewise, my friend. likewise.
T
i always wanted to be a cute gal
A
i know. that's totally why i said that...
T
and to think i spend so much time trimming
A
trimming?
T
lol
ur too innocent im sorry
A
alright...urban dictionary it is
T
it means taking care of ur bush
A
oh, that
well i know what that is
T
are u srue u do?
A
i thought you were meaning something more pervy
yesss...
T
cuz i remember a hearty bush lol
:):)
A
oh my...
well
trimming doesn't mean chopping it all off, i guess
fuck, travis. you're so damn blunt.
my face is getting sunburnt.
T
sorry
A
you said i'm kind of a hippie, right? hippie woman = hairy. so there.
T
pretty much but i was hoping for a landscaped trail
A
well, i waxed my bikini line and...why am i explaining this to you?
geez, shit.
T
i guess i was use to the whore girl that shaves it all
A
oh, gosh. ow, ow, ow.
that is like having sex with a little girl
i did that once. never again.
T
yeah cuz hairy means old
A
no, hairy means post-puberty
shit, travis, we women have enough hair to remove.
T
it does if u make it fit a figure not just a jungle bush
a simple triangle works
A
alright, are ya trying to be a dick here, or what?
T
just trying to help ya for future moments
A
well, i think i'll be alright. i don't know what kind of women you hang out with...but most of my girlfriends are the same.
T
i trimmed to the balls for ya jus tsaying
if u want someone to be there try to trim the hair
:P:P
A
oh my.
T
but on a bright side those ta tas as still great
A
right.
T
is true, they are very perky and damn damn damn sexy
At this point I sent him (in his inbox) the chapter from The Vagina Monologues called "Hair."
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