Confession

I miss Eric. I miss Eric every fucking day. EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. Admitting this "out-loud" makes me bawl. I woke up Thanksgiving morning and was excited to check my FB to see if I had a message from Jake, but at the same time I was thinking about how Eric and I always play-fought over the cranberries on Thanksgiving. I miss how he smells (he always put his deodorant on his chest bc he knew i loved the smell and then it was in my face when i hugged him), the weird face he makes when he is trying to get his ears to pop, him asking me to rub his hair, the cute way he scrunches up his nose when he laughs and how sometimes, when he gets going so hard, he giggles like a little girl...

My mom said, "Do you miss Eric or do you miss having somebody?" I said, "Mom, I miss Eric. Of course I miss Eric." She said she never missed my Dad after she left him. WTfuck? I married Eric because I never wanted to be without him. Ever. And now I am. For-ever.