Thank You, Bridget Jones

"Resolution #1: Uggg - will obviously lose 20 lbs. #2: Always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things."

For Real:
1.) Be more productive. For fuck's sake, what are you doing with your time?! Facebook, Harry Potter audio books, this shit...?
2.) Find a REAL job.
3.) Make a decision about something - do something! Join Lutheran Volunteer Corps, move, etc! Quit bitching about your job and where you live if you're not going to DO anything about either of them.
4.) Stop obsessing about finding a relationship. You're fine on your own. Fuck men. (But don't actually fuck them, okay?)
5.) On that note...quit calling Eric. He has nothing to offer you. What good could come of it?! If you fall back into that trap, so help me...
6.) You have been exercising with some regularity. Good for you! Keep it up!
7.) Clean with regularity. Don't wait to wash the dishes till you need a bowl.
8.) De-clutter. Get rid of some of that useless crapola.
9.) Read more!
10.) Get a regular sleep schedule (hopefully will come with new job).